Beware the picspam that is surely about to occur.
PMS has turned me into a raging hormonal bitch. This week is worse than I’ve been for a long while, too, and I’m not sure why. Still eating healthfully, though, which hopefully should help with everything that follows.
I’m getting into the habit of having oatmeal with strawberries and a cup of hazelnut coffee with 1/4 cup nonfat milk for breakfast, but I always feel like my dinners are still too big. I need to try and find that happy balance of pre-gym and post-gym meals, but I’m struggling with it. I’m also still very annoyed about my leg getting tweaked yesterday. I wasn’t planning on going to the gym tonight anyway, so hopefully it’ll heal up quickly, so I can get back to work. This fat won’t work itself off, that’s for sure.
In happier news, I’m going to a Magic Mike screening tonight, so that’s something to look forward to.
Cardio cardio cardio today. Did 13 miles on the bike in 50 minutes. I beat my pace/mile by a good 30 seconds. Woot. Plus, I increased the resistance and put it on random hills so it’d be almost HIIT. Feels good.
Now, making dinner of whole wheat spaghetti with sautéed mushrooms and chicken sausage in light olive oil. Today was a good day. I may even treat myself with a glass of red wine (it’s good for the heart, you know, haha).
Today is going much better than yesterday. I have been adjusting pretty badly to my new job, despite it being entirely awesome. But last night (as I was watching SYTYCD), I realized that I’m in the process of living my dream. It’s just a slow and steady path to where I want to be. I don’t have any family in the industry and can’t use nepotism the way so many around me can, but that’s okay. I’ve gotten to where I am by my own merits and dedication. I want to write for television, and I will.
Also, on a very encouraging note, I ran into the producer’s assistant and one of the actors from the last show I worked on (the one that I let take over my life) on the lot, and they both recognized me and gave me hugs. It was definitely an ego boost - this actor is HOT (really stupid, but really good looking, haha). And it felt nice to be flirted with (even though I know he’s in a relationship with an even more beautiful than him actress).
No gym tonight or tomorrow, but Saturday I’m going to do an epic weight training day. I’m doing full body, serious business. And Sunday will be a swimming day. I feel like I can finally see past the clouds and into the light. My journey to success is happening. xoxo.
Memorial Day BBQ. I wore a bikini. In public. With boys present. I feel like I should get a medal. Or an award. Or at least some sort of congratulations for that. I’m so proud of myself it’s ridiculous.
Now off to drink beer and eat steak. And enjoy every fucking sip/bite. I biked this morning for an hour, so I feel no guilt either. Can’t even tell you how hat I’m smiling right now. I’ve come so far in so few months.
How’s everyone else today?
Only a few hours away from heading home for my sister’s graduation. I can’t believe she’s old enough to be graduating. I can’t believe I’m old enough for her to be graduating! Anyway, I’m going to be in and out, but I wanted to remind everyone to eat clean and keep on exercising :)
I went to the gym this morning and had time to bike seven miles, shower, and come home and pack. I packed gym clothes with me in the hopes that I’ll be able to fit in a workout or two when I’m home, but it is a celebratory weekend, so we’ll see.
Best to all. xoxo.
My first day of unemployment. I slept until 11, and just did follow up communications about scheduling two separate interviews. Now, I’m going to make myself some brunch, sign up for unemployment, and head to the gym for some cardio. I think some swimming? It is 81 degrees and sunshiney.
Or perhaps I’ll grab a book and read it on a bike. So many fun things I can do at the gym with my unemployment!
Just kidding, I’m looking to get re-hired ASAP. But it does feel slightly nice to have day of recuperation time. How’s everyone else’s Tuesday going?
Best small change I’ve ever made - using the stairs only, rather than the elevator. It’s only twice a day, but it’s made a massive difference in the strength of my thighs.
seriously, cut soda completely out of your diet. it makes your life so much better.
One thing I’m most excited about for my unemployment - being able to go to afternoon yoga class at my gym. I most often forget to stretch, and I can’t wait to work on my flexibility.
In case you peeps didn’t notice (which I’m sure you didn’t), I took the weekend off of checking in here. I worked out both Saturday and Sunday, but I also slept and wrote and was damn productive.
Last night, my trainer had way too much fun abusing me. We upped my weights in everything almost, and by the time we were through I swear I couldn’t walk. In fact, my best friend came over for dinner, and after I tried to get up and get some water, and I had to hold onto the table to push myself up. CRIPPLED, I tell you. But it was good. He made me realize how much stronger I’m getting. Our workout went as such:
Adductor - 4 x 15 @ 40
Abductor - 4 x 15 @ 40
Leg Curl - 5 x 15 @ 50
Wall Sits - 5 x 1 minute
Leg Press - 4 x 15 @ 110
50 walking lunges
Bicep Curls - 4 x 15 @ 5 (don’t judge me, my arms are SUPER weak)
Tricep Pulldown - 4 x 15 @ 15
Ab glider - 3 x 15 @ 20 (once in each direction - center, left, and right)
I know it doesn’t look like much written out, but seriously, my legs aren’t going to make it through the day. It’s supposed to be a rest day tonight, but I’m not sure I’m going to take it. I might take my rest day tomorrow or Thursday. We’ll see, though.
How was everyone else’s weekend?
Last night was an introspective night. I went home (after sitting in an hour and a half of traffic, thanks to ColdPlay playing at the Hollywood Bowl), ordered Thai food, and thought about why I’ve fallen into this funk and what I can do to get out of it.
My job has been taking up most of my thoughts at the moment. TV Upfronts are in a week and a half, and then there will be a hiring frenzy. I talked with my boss yesterday, and we came up with an “out date” for me, since I plan on getting on a show, so I have just over two weeks left here. I think that in itself was comforting. I feel like I’ve been treading water at this job, and so by knowing exactly when I’m finished and theoretically moving on, I felt better.
The second thing I think that’s really been affecting me is not getting a good amount of sleep. I know that my new neighbors have played a big role in this, and so instead of letting shit continue on, I wrote them a note. I’m a writer, so I like to think it was articulately explained as well as being kind. I didn’t hear a peep from them last night, so I’m hoping they understood. But…I guess that really remains to be seen. And besides my neighbor, I decided to start turning my light off 30 minutes earlier every night. It’s not a huge difference, but an extra 30 minutes every night suddenly turns into an extra 3.5 hours a week.
Last is making time for the gym. I’ve been good at this, but my heart hasn’t really been in it. I know that it’s been pushed to the back of my mind because of everything else, but I remember how much I loved going to the gym when I started this journey nearly three months ago, and I’m sad some of that has disappeared. I’m going to try and start attending classes for my cardio instead of solo time on a bike or treadmill. I think I miss a group environment and a teacher pushing me.
Three small changes in my state of mind, and already I’m feeling a lot better. I’m going to continue to put my search for a new job first - which includes networking events for the next four nights, but I’m going to go to yoga on Saturday morning and maybe take a new class on Sunday. I need to remember this is a process, a journey, and I can’t rush it. It’s going to take time, and I have to learn to be okay with that.
My lunch today - a whole bag of sauteed spinach (tossed with 1 tbs of olive oil) and 5 trader joe’s turkey meatballs. Yay protein. I’m going to be so strong! Nutrition me up, yo.
Happy May, everyone!
I honestly can’t believe it’s been another month. April really flew right by, didn’t it? I have no idea if I’ve lost any weight - tomorrow is my weigh in - but I’m pretty sure because of my horrible day on Sunday, I haven’t. However, I did get in a fair amount of my April goals accomplished (begin editing my novel, get my spec ready, eat breakfast every day, gym 3-4 times a week, etc). In fact, the goal I actually messed up the most was in my clean eating. I blame going back on BC for messing with my hormones and cravings, but I’m hoping that the month of May will be much better.
- Continue eating breakfast every day
- Continue drinking 8 cups of water a day
- Continue going to the gym 3-4 x a week
- Take a yoga class
- Plan all meals on Sunday night/go grocery shopping weekly
- Eliminate white flour/sugar —> bake healthy alternative treats
- Find a new job
- Go on a date
Yes, that last one has been on my monthly goal list since February, and I have yet to try it out. But slow and steady wins the race. I have a lot of other things on my plate that I really need to deal with before I can think about getting involved with anyone else, however, I know that it would be a really good thing for me to go out. We’ll see how that goes.
What are your May goals?
I just got a text message from my trainer saying the power in the gym has been out all afternoon because of the crazy wind we’ve been experiencing today, and he has to cancel because the gym is closing. What am I supposed to do with my evening now? I was so pumped and everything. Anyone have a good AT HOME workout for me to do?
Today was the first Wednesday that I didn’t step on the scale in two months. It’s weird. I know that weight is just a number (and is often inaccurate as a measure of health), but stepping on the scale once a week was still a matter of comfort to show that I hadn’t gone too far from where I want to be. I’m not one of those people who steps on the scale and goes, OMG, 152, I’M SO FAT! - My reaction is more, Okay, still at 152? I’m still maintaining while weight training. I hope I have new muscle!
It’s more of a gauge to see if I’ve jumped up. I’ve found that when I don’t weigh myself, I tend to lose motivation and gain weight at a much quicker rate than when I know I have to step on the scale. I know that’s not the healthiest mindset. I am working on changing it, but it’s difficult.
I feel like I’m changing a lot in my life all at once. For the first time in a very long time, I’m putting myself and my needs before anything else. And it’s scary. I’ve started going to the gym 5-6 times a week, and I started working on edits of my novel, as well as researching agents and putting together queries. I’ve eliminated fair-weather friends and incorporated new ones who have ambition and care about their careers. I know exactly what I want my next career step to be and am doing everything within my power to get there. And I’ve made the conscious decision to start dating again (even though I haven’t started that one yet). If you knew anything about me six months ago, you’d understand why this is so overwhelming. So, if stepping on a scale once a week is going to allow me a small piece of mind, I don’t see the harm in continuing to do so.