It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for meeee…and I’m feeling good.
Breakfast = 41 cals.
- 2 eight oz. Caramel Vanilla k-cup = 4 cals.
- 1/4 cup 2% milk = 35 cals.
- 4 packets of splenda = 2 cals.
Lunch = 474 cals.
- Tender Greens butter lettuce salad w/ tarragon dressing and salt & pepper chicken (no skin) = 474 cals.
The biggest problem with my meals is that lunch is ordered out every day and paid for by the show (and it’s super sad, but I’m way too poor to not take advantage of it). Though a few of the places we order from have calories listed, the majority of them don’t. We shall see how tracking it goes.
Just entered my calories from yesterday and today into my journal. Eeeep. Yesterday was pretty damn bad. It was my sister’s graduation celebration, and we went to a very fancy four course meal with lots of wine. It was so delicious and the night was so much fun, but I went far over what I try to keep my calorie limit as. I’m supposed to be seen in a bathing suit tomorrow and getting progressively more nervous. But I ate well today. Lots of fruits and veggies and chicken. So, at least I didn’t have two bad days in a row. I just hope I feel moderately comfortable in my bathing suit tomorrow. And that it’s warm enough to spend lots of time in the water. Sigh.
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Going to sushi for dinner tonight. Could not be more excited. What should I get? The possibilities are endless!
My lunch today - a whole bag of sauteed spinach (tossed with 1 tbs of olive oil) and 5 trader joe’s turkey meatballs. Yay protein. I’m going to be so strong! Nutrition me up, yo.
Yesterday, I binged for the first time since I started this lifestyle. I wasn’t in a good place mentally, and I’d been surrounded by triggers all weekend…and I just lost the will to care anymore. It was terrible. I had 800 in my first sitting and almost 1700 in my second. I couldn’t fall asleep for hours after because I was so plagued with guilt, as well as being physically uncomfortable. It was horrible.
My relationship with food has always been incredibly difficult, but I was really upset with myself after I realized what I’d done.
I know that today is a new day, and yesterday doesn’t have to affect me, but mentally it felt like such a huge slip. I need to work on putting myself back into a healthier head space. I brought in my homemade whole wheat banana walnut muffins for breakfast and some hummus, carrots, pita, and apples for lunch, so I’ll be eating really cleanly for the rest of the day. I just need to remind myself that I can do this, that I have *been* doing this, and I can’t let any outside stresses derail me from taking care of myself first and foremost. Watch out for a motivation picspam in the near future… xoxo, LC
Lunch time, lunch time, lunch time! - I’m excited, can you tell?
- 4 turkey meatballs
- 1/2 packet of brown rice
- 1 cup of greenbeans
And a giant bottle of water. I think I’m set. *fist pump*
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I made my first green smoothie this afternoon! Half a bag of baby spinach, 2 cups of almond milk, 1 banana, 5 strawberries, and a cup of water makes two servings for 158 calories each. I think next time I’ll add some protein powder, too. It was surprisingly good. Next time I think I’ll add more water to have it be a bit thinner, but I really enjoyed it. That will be my breakfast tomorrow. Excited :)
This weekend has been a bit of a mess for me.
I had a personal training session on Friday night that almost killed me. It was a legs day, and I got into the squat rack for the very first time! I was incredibly proud of myself, even though I was only squatting the bar with no additional weights. I also did deadlifts between sets, and after the first three sets I honestly thought I was going to die. My trainer let me take a lap around the gym as a “rest” before doing our last set. Then we moved onto the leg curl machine and interspersed it with wall sits (a minute at a time). Seriously, I thought my legs were going to murder me by the time we were through.
Then, yesterday, I woke up at 1:30 PM, had some peanut butter and toast and then went to the gym and did an hour on the bike. I should have eaten more after the gym, but I went and did errands instead, which was definitely a mistake. I forgot I was meeting up with an old friend for drinks/dinner, and she decided she wanted to go out earlier to a cute Mexican place I like. Which was fine, except that meant I hadn’t had anything but my peanut butter and toast to eat all day until I met her at 5:30. Normally that wouldn’t be so bad, but we were going to Mexican and I have quite the weakness for margaritas. The restaurant has a “low-cal” magarita called a Z-Rita, but after three large ones, I’m not sure they’re so low cal anymore. Plus, what’s low cal for a margarita…like, 200 cals? I had a healthy entree, a chicken breast taco salad with no dressing, but I was so drunk that when I came home, I had a giant glass of wine and cookies with my roommate without even thinking about it. I know I said I wasn’t going to feel guilty about splurging, but this was a far cry from a splurge. I’d even call it a binge. Which really kills me. I know I probably needed those cookies to absorb the copious amounts of booze I consumed, but it still felt bad.
Of course, I know today is a new day. I woke up at 12:30 (with a pretty gnarly hang over) and made myself some scrambled egg whites with a wedge of laughing cow lite cheese and a piece of toast and a very large cup of tea with some almond milk. 278 calories and 26 grams of protein. Which I’ll definitely need, since I have another training session in about 40 minutes. I’m not even that sore, which is odd since I really thought I’d have some bad second day sore legs today. I’m also excited to come back from training and try a green smoothie for the first time. Hopefully I’ll make it through the hour alive. What an essay, right? I guess I just needed to talk it out and sort through my feelings about it. Now that I’ve typed it out, it’s bad, but it’s not crazy bad. I had a ton of fun with my friend, and I can’t feel any guilt over that whatsoever.
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I just want all of this in my mouth right now. I wish I’d saved my apple snack for after that run. Damn not thinking ahead.
Just had such a delicious lunch. Iceberg lettuce with persian cucumber, tomatoes, a little bit of crumbled bleu cheese and STEAK. Omg. I know steak is high in fat, but I hadn’t had red meat in so long. And it was SO good. I’m going to be full for the rest of the day. I forgot how filling it is.
Now all I want to do is nap. Damn work getting in the way of my napping.
Tonight I cooked dinner for me and my roomie. It was a little surprise for him, since he’s been working so hard with his new promotion. He was very grateful, and it was super delicious! Baked chicken breast with roasted butternut squash. And the entire dinner was only 439 calories and 46 grams of protein. BAM. So good. Plus, I felt really domestic, which was bizarrely nice.
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What baby carrots and I have in common, hahah.
Weighed in today at 151 lbs! Next week I’m cracking through 150. I’M DOING IT. I’m also wearing my jeans again today :)
Last night was also a huge success. Not gym wise (I didn’t go). But I did go home and cook dinner for me and my roommate. We’re both crazy workaholics and so the time we actually spend together is pretty limited, but yesterday we sat around the dinner table for two hours talking about his new job and analyzing television. It was so fantastic and so necessary to my mental health. I didn’t cook anything super fancy - just TJ’s portabello mushroom ravioli with a side of roasted broccoli, but it was delicious. And a glass of red wine to sip while finishing Mockingjay was exactly what I needed from life last night.
I’m meeting up with an old friend for drinks tonight, so the gym isn’t going to be happening either, but I’m feeling good about life this morning regardless. Also, it’s a four day week, which means that I’m more than halfway through, haha. Now just crossing my fingers that my tax refund comes soon, so I can sign up for a personal trainer this weekend!
Dinner is served. Whole wheat penne with mushrooms, zucchini and sweet Italian chicken sausage. Post workout bliss.
I forgot to get avocados at the grocery! I am so distraught. Seeing this picture just reminded me that I meant to get some…damn it, haha.